Getting Married 101

Of late I've been obsessed with weddings.

I guess it was only natural. Apparently, an average girl spends 80% of her time between the ages of 13-25 daydreaming about -
a) The perfect man
b) How to find him
c) How to get him to marry her

Ok fine, I just made that up. But it's a fairly reasonable statistic to believe, don't you think?

Anyway, that (made up) statistic doesn't really apply to me because I'm not really
a) An average girl
b) Too much of a daydreamer
c) erm .. between 13-25

(What is it about this post that is making me write in bullet points??)

So while I've spent a fair amount of time dreaming about The Perfect Man, I don't really think I ever really got into the practicalities of how exactly I would find him or he would find me. Or of what exactly we would do once we had found each other.
And once you've gone away and washed your filthy minds with soap- I meant how exactly would we choose to live our lives together - get married, have kids etc etc. ;)

One of the greatest pearls of wisdom I have achieved in recent times (all on my own, yay!) is that relationships need to be handled very pragmatically. Yes, yes, this may be common knowledge to the world and it's aunt but I'm a bit slow.
And nowhere is the pragmatism more evidently in play than when you decide to get married. Suddenly the rose-tinted glasses and hazy edges the world had acquired during your courtship period, vanish and you are faced with two sets of parents eyeing each other warily, heightened emotions and major life-or-death decisions ( what date? where? who's invited? )

It's as if your life is effectively hijacked by this BIG DECISION you have taken. And whereas earlier it was just the two of you coochie-cooing and taking leisurely strolls in the park, now suddenly the families have a stake in this relationship and they're not afraid to remind you of it anytime, anywhere.

For the most part, the wedding planning period is spent managing egos, desires and differences. An oft used phrase by the parents is 'but I only want the best for you..' delivered in a mildly quivering voice that hits you right where it's meant to hurt, reminding you of all the years and years of nappy changing and hand holding they've done and you can't even agree to get married in that particular shade of red they want? The cheek! The phrase 'emotional blackmail' hovers around constantly in the background.

It's emotionally exhausting trying to
a) Plan the wedding
b) Build new relationships while valiantly maintaining the ones you currently have
c) Be the Happy Blushing Bride (because you know, you're supposed to)

It's a tough juggling act worsened by the fact that everyone, everyone is constantly telling you that you must enjoy this time because you will never be a bride again. Oh My God.
It's almost like you don't have a license to be sad, nervous, worried, tired, crabby, cribby etc etc.

So yeah, I wish someone had told me it was going to be a tough ride.

Because I sure as hell am going to tell all brides to be - It's tough, tiring and traumatising.
But totally worth it.. :)