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Finding mojo

What's my writing mojo?
I've been trying to find it. It's hard.
You know, mojo - the sweet spot where you finally hit your stride and find your 'voice' - that distinctive style of writing that classifies your writing as truly yours.

Obviously the problem here is that I'm over thinking this (suprise surprise). I spend a lot of time reading - newspapers, magazines, blogs, books - and when I find a writer whose writing I really admire, I completely lose myself in reading anything and everything of theirs I can get my hands on. And inevitably my competitive streak kicks in and I start comparing their writing to mine (the Indian dog-eat-dog education system has ruined me! ).

Now obviously every writer has his or her own particular way of writing, their mojo, something that gives their words a voice and makes them distinctive. And it's difficult, almost impossible, for any other writer to imitate them.

There are loads of writers I admire. Here are a few just off the top of my head :


Zadie Smith - I must re-read her books. She is an intelligent writer - that's the best way I can describe her work. After reading her books, I wanted to pack up and join Oxford and read literature and write novels like 'White Teeth' in my spare time (obviously I was making several wild presumptions here-  that A)Oxford would have me, B) I would have spare time and that C) I would be able to write a book half as intelligent as hers!)

Jennifer Egan - A recent discovery. I picked up ' A visit from the Goon Squad' - her Pulitzer prize winning 2011 novel mainly because I was er.. fascinated by the name of the book :/ . Nonetheless, this book is wonderful!! Its soaring narrative draws you in, and her writing is deceptively simple for such meandering, complex plot. I love how the different characters' lives weave in and out of each other - it's a style of writing I admire because I can't imagine the complexity involved in creating a narrative full of so many characters.

Marian Keyes - One of my all -time favourites. Her books are classified as chick-lit but they're really so much more. They're the most evolved form of chick-lit ever - full of dark humour, a witty irresprisible style of writing, idiosncratic characters and situational humour. I am a huge fan! Even more so because Marian suffers from severe depression and it's beautiful how she manages to write such wonderful funny books despite it all.

The only thing these authors have in common is that their writing seems effortless and their voice so distinctive. They've definitely found their mojo!
And hopefully, if I work just a bit harder and write a bit more, I will too!

Till then the mojo hunt continues. ..

Things I will never be

I read something somewhere recently where the author was recounting all the things she will never be. And it completely inspired me to do a similar post. Because all of us are striving all the time to be a better version of ourselves.And while this is an admirable ambition, sometimes it's just a bit exhausting trying to constantly better yourself. And sometimes it's just nice to be able to throw down your weapons, put your feet up and declare truce with your little foibles.

So here's my list. Which is by no means comprehensive. Obviously.

1. I will never be an efficient delegator -
Believe me I've tried. I've tried being all steely eyed and straight backed and clickety-clackety with my heels and barking out orders to my team and delegating all the work that needs to be done. However, I can't get rid of the nagging suspicions that nobody can do anything better than me (I know.. Hello modesty!) and so I'm mostly always dissatisfied with the results of my delegation and just end up re-doing it all myself.

2. I will never be a person who just 'lets go'
I really want to though. It's very true that when things are tough and unpredictable - sometimes you just have to let them be and they will either a) resolve themselves or b) you will benefit from the distance and gain some perspective and then they won't seem so bad any longer. And I understand the logic of that but when I'm in one of these tough situations, all I want to do is fix it somehow, some way , right there and then. It's hard. On me.

3. I will never be a person who can layer clothes.
You know how they show you in fashion magazines - all these tips and tricks for layering up and wearing a jacket over a printed shirt over a cute vest over another cute vest with 4 trinket style necklaces hanging at just the right length - and it all comes together as the perfect summer look? Well, news flash - I've tried that look and it just makes me look like a homeless person who has to wear all her clothes all at once because otherwise where else would she put them?
And all those trinket style necklaces? Well, I can never find enough of them that work together. I mean in what world do a skull and sparrow go together?
And there's no point telling me that they're not meant to go together.. because I just don't work like that. So there.

4. I will never be a person who does things last minute.
My husband is good like that. He manages to make last minute look sexy because he does so many things just before the time they're meant to be done and he does them well (whatever showoff)
But I just can't! I really need to have everything sorted beforehand otherwise I have a major panic. I live in constant fear of 'what if'? Here. Sample my current one.
What if I people at my housewarming party tonight don't have enough to eat because I underestimated the food and now they all hate me for starving them. Oh and I'm also a major cliche because I'm the 'fashion' types who doesn't serve food at her party because all fashion people survive on crackers anyway. Social doom.

So those are some things I will never be for now.
(Lots) more to follow.
Till next time !

Getting Married 101

Of late I've been obsessed with weddings.

I guess it was only natural. Apparently, an average girl spends 80% of her time between the ages of 13-25 daydreaming about -
a) The perfect man
b) How to find him
c) How to get him to marry her

Ok fine, I just made that up. But it's a fairly reasonable statistic to believe, don't you think?

Anyway, that (made up) statistic doesn't really apply to me because I'm not really
a) An average girl
b) Too much of a daydreamer
c) erm .. between 13-25

(What is it about this post that is making me write in bullet points??)

So while I've spent a fair amount of time dreaming about The Perfect Man, I don't really think I ever really got into the practicalities of how exactly I would find him or he would find me. Or of what exactly we would do once we had found each other.
And once you've gone away and washed your filthy minds with soap- I meant how exactly would we choose to live our lives together - get married, have kids etc etc. ;)

One of the greatest pearls of wisdom I have achieved in recent times (all on my own, yay!) is that relationships need to be handled very pragmatically. Yes, yes, this may be common knowledge to the world and it's aunt but I'm a bit slow.
And nowhere is the pragmatism more evidently in play than when you decide to get married. Suddenly the rose-tinted glasses and hazy edges the world had acquired during your courtship period, vanish and you are faced with two sets of parents eyeing each other warily, heightened emotions and major life-or-death decisions ( what date? where? who's invited? )

It's as if your life is effectively hijacked by this BIG DECISION you have taken. And whereas earlier it was just the two of you coochie-cooing and taking leisurely strolls in the park, now suddenly the families have a stake in this relationship and they're not afraid to remind you of it anytime, anywhere.

For the most part, the wedding planning period is spent managing egos, desires and differences. An oft used phrase by the parents is 'but I only want the best for you..' delivered in a mildly quivering voice that hits you right where it's meant to hurt, reminding you of all the years and years of nappy changing and hand holding they've done and you can't even agree to get married in that particular shade of red they want? The cheek! The phrase 'emotional blackmail' hovers around constantly in the background.

It's emotionally exhausting trying to
a) Plan the wedding
b) Build new relationships while valiantly maintaining the ones you currently have
c) Be the Happy Blushing Bride (because you know, you're supposed to)

It's a tough juggling act worsened by the fact that everyone, everyone is constantly telling you that you must enjoy this time because you will never be a bride again. Oh My God.
It's almost like you don't have a license to be sad, nervous, worried, tired, crabby, cribby etc etc.

So yeah, I wish someone had told me it was going to be a tough ride.

Because I sure as hell am going to tell all brides to be - It's tough, tiring and traumatising.
But totally worth it.. :)