In consistency

wow - talk about consistency! After swearing myself purple in the face that I WILL BLOG, of course i promptly DID NOT BLOG. And the person who feels the most let down about this is me. This was supposed to be my release, my little space where I can just let out the words that usually swirl around in my head.

Last two months have been weird and a bit tough.
Weird in a good way. Have been busy at work, exciting things are happening. Have been home to visit my mum and just reeelllaaax. And been to bangalore, to attend a friend's wedding - a christian wedding! where I was bridesmaid. Oh it was fun! other than the fact that I was promised hot men in uniform at the wedding (the groom's in the navy) and there were none at all! Sigh! But it was three days of hanging out with my dearest friends, staying up late to gossip, dressing up, going out. How would a girl survive without her girlfriends?

So yeah, it's all been fun and good.
But tough - and not in such a good way.
It's strange but whereas everything seems ok - I feel as though I need to question every single aspect of my life. Question the choices i'm making, the decisions I'm taking. I feel a bit powerless somehow, powerless to move the rudder of the boat that is my life and steer it in the way I want it to. And the main problem is that i don't know as yet where I want to be and hence where to steer to.
Self-help gurus would tell me to write down my goals-short-term and long term and work my way towards them! Easier said than done, I say. Received wisdom (aka my wise and wonderful girlfriends) say this is the rule as opposed to the exception. Apparently, it's ok to feel a bit directionless. So I'm trying not to be too hard on myself and just let things be.
The one (and Only) big lesson i've learnt in life so far is that everything happens in its own time, every dog has its day etc etc.
But letting go is hard! grrrr...

It's weird how this blog stirs up the emotions in me. I totally did not want to blog about this. i wanted to talk about the wedding and my bridesmaid dress - which was really lovely but was made of this flammable sort of polysilk material which meant I spent most of the day dangerously close to going up in flames. Oh and the polysilk+bangalore heat=sweat patches which meant that I was attempting to do all my bridesmaidenly duties with my arms pinned to my sides, mortified should i raise them and shock the world with views of hideous sweat patches. I haven't seen the wedding photos as yet but am convinced the sweat patches will overshadow the loveliness of the bride by a mile! Oh well..

But But it was a lovely wedding. With a lot of joy and love and happiness..so much so that i felt enveloped in a protective cocoon. It was like attending the beggining of a happily ever after!
Ah..I wish them the best of life!

Till next time x