I've been told a number of times I'm an idealist. At first, I took it as a compliment.. Idealist wow! They're meant to be a dying out species, aren't they?
I never really stopped to consider what the term actually meant and how it applied to me and others definitions of me.
Over the past few months however, I've been forced to confront the reality of what being an idealist means. I was reading an article in this weeks 'Sunday Times STYLE' section about a novelist talking about how she used to be an avid bookworm when she was younger..so much so that she used to drown herself in books all the time till the day her dad placed a 'reading ban' on her 11 year old self and said 'you need to learn how to confront reality'.
I was quite shocked when I read that because A) I couldn't imagine a father forbidding his daughter to 'read' of all things, I firmly believe reading is one of the most wholesome activities for children and adults alike B) the story resonated so much with me - not because my dad has ever banned me from reading - I'd like to see him try! but because the same words about 'facing reality' had been said to me quite a few times in the past few months.
It got me thinking.. has my love for books turned into a 'dependency' on books? Do I use reading as an escape from 'reality' when everything gets too tough? Has my passion for books turned me into an idealist?
Ummm..the short answer is 'yes'. Reading is my escape. I can dive into other's worlds when sometimes mine gets a bit too much for me. But that has never meant that I shirk my responsibilities, shy away from dealing with problems or pretend the world is perfect and beautiful.
On the flip side, it has given me a predisposition for 'happy ever afters', a fairly romantic view of the world and a hyperactive imagination! So yes, I do come across as an idealist to most people who know me because I expect things to be a certain way, expect people to be the best version of themselves, I trust easily, can be fairly naive and am supremely empathetic to others points of view - all of which characteristics are my strengths and weaknesses in equal measure.
So yes, I guess reading has made me a bit of an idealist!
But I won't apologise for it because what reading has given me is my 'happy place'. When I read, I'm happy, no two ways about that! It's the most unadulterated form of happiness available to me. And it's mine, completely mine. So reading is my gift to myself.
I make my own happy because nobody else can!
